Happy Birthday Mommy!

Today is Annie's birthday.  Mia baked her an awesome cake.  We went to Chuck E. Cheese a few weekends ago and Mia cashed in her tickets for a cake maker.  She's been dying to try it out.  Today was the big day.  You can't tell, but it is a chocolate cake under the beautiful red and blue coating.  Mia did a very nice job...the cake was tasty.  Happy 29th birthday mommy!!

Love note...

I am not sure this picture will post correctly, or that you will be able to click on it to make it large enough to read...but I had to share!

Tomorrow is my birthday.  Mia and Kennedy were working on crafts for much of the morning to give me as gifts.  So sweet!  Kennedy made a card to go with hers. I will type the text below, errors included, so you can see the progress she is making with writing in English independently:

Dear mommy,
I love you so much!
Happ Birthday to you, mommy!
Love
Daughter=Kennedy

On the inside cover, she wrote:
Daddy love you, I love you, and Mia love you to, my dear mommy!
LOVE
Because our always a family people! (I assume she means we will always be family.)

Now...how awesome is that???  Happy birthday to me for sure!

Zoe The Dog

Thanks Lindsay...

Children's Museum...Better Late Than Never

I took the girls to the Children's Museum last Saturday.  Mia has been wanting to go for a while, so I showed Kennedy a video online and she was intrigued.  We made the drive and it was totally worth it.  The girls had a blast.  Mia had a hard time staying interested in the things that Kennedy wanted to do, but it was a good day. 

Slightly off topic...Mia has never been one to ask "Are we there yet?"  She has to ask "How many more minutes until we get to" so and so?  And she's no longer shy about asking it.  I got that question three times in 15 minutes on the way to the museum, then one extra when we were literally two blocks from the place.

Anyway...the girls tried just about everything in the place that was interactive.  They made most of the projects in the invention convention area.  Kennedy painted a heart on Mia's cheek.  It was pretty cool.  What was not cool was droppin' fitty on the trip for three people counting lunch at the place.  Ouch.

But it was fun.  So, it's all good.

At a birthday party...

Here are the girls at a birthday party with Lindsay...who just caused me to bring another dog home...

Biker Mannings!

There is a problem with our camera...we keep not using it!  Again, I will post without pictures.  The alternative is NOT posting, which has been the route I have taken often in the last days!  BUSY times!

Two weekend events:  Saturday, we brought home a foster dog...thanks SO much to my friend Lindsay...Ah hem...  She called me to come up and see a dog she was considering to foster or adopt from the rescue we work with.  Charles had the girls downtown at the childrens museum all day...BIG hit with BOTH of them.  So...I was home, cleaning as usual.  I agreed to run up there to see the dog for a "few minutes"  A couple hours later, WE came home with a dog...Lindsay did NOT...  Again I say...Ah hem.....

This beautiful creature's story just tore my heart out.  She was taken from her owners who had put a collar on her when she was a puppy and never bothered to adjust or replace it as she grew.  The collar got embedded into the skin of her neck.  Our rescue friend, Beth, had to take her to have the collar SURGICALLY removed.  The owners should be fined and jailed!  They got off with NOTHING.  Sickens me.  Somehow, this dog is gorgeous, healthy, loving and as friendly as can be.  She is truly grateful that someone saved her.  She appears to be a pure Carolina, which I had never heard of.  You can google Carolina dog to see one.  She is a solid tan beauty.  The big part is that Kennedy got to help decide to bring her home for a trial, and she was SO happy!!!  We will see how it goes, then decide if we will foster her until she finds a family...or if WE are her family.  So far, she is doing great!  I THINK we are going to call her Zoe.  We thought Caroline might be good since she is a Carolina, but Kennedy and Mia REALLY want to call her Zoe.  It seems to fit.  Beth was calling her Helga, but we nixed that! 

Second:  We got Kennedy a bike today.  She was SO excited!  We had to unpack groceries and Charles had to prep for the stir-fry dinner he is making for all his girls tonight, so they had to wait to go riding.  Kennedy was walking around the house saying "BICYCLE" quietly to herself, just waiting in anticipation!   A few minutes ago, Charles and the girls took off for a ride.  I am petrified that Mia will come back injured, so pray she does NOT!  WOW!  Right as I typed that, Charles called to say everyone is remaining upright and it is going well so far!!! 

Kennedy has come a LONG way in the last 2 weeks.  Beth commented at the rescue site that her English was getting good.  She IS using lots more.  She is calling us mom and dad on her own, and she is playing around and happy most of the time.  The unfortunate news is that with looming teacher layoffs and possible pay cuts, we had to cancel our plans to vacation with the Kennedy family in July.  (Most of you will recall that they are the reason we found out about our Kennedy when they adopted her best friend who they named Kaui.  We named Kennedy after them!) It could be as late as August before jobs are certain, and we can not afford to spend money like that.  I have not told Kennedy yet, and will probably wait until school is out to do that.  We are working on the taxes that will include the adoption credit and plan to pay down as much of the adoption debt as possible with every penny.  If we lost my salary, we would not be able to stay in our house, so please keep that in your prayers.

Man, that happy paragraph ended in a big ole' downer.  Sorry.


Anyway, laundry is calling...AGAIN, so I will end this post!  And Lindsay...again I say THANKS!!!!  ;)

Kennedy Faith update...

Gosh, I just posted 2 "make-up" pics below, and here I am posting WITHOUT a picture AGAIN!  Truth be told, Kennedy avoids the camera like the plague, just like her mama! 

Speaking of her mama...Kennedy has come a LONG way in a FEW days!  Again, let me say that overall, she is a JOY, and VERY easy.  I had recently posted that she is not typically affectionate, and was not used to calling us (or anyone) Mom and Dad.  I had a stern talk with her last weekend, and my sweet friend, PTO president and volunteer tutor for Kennedy went back over EVERYTHING with her from that conversation for me in Mandarin Chinese last week.

I am here to report that she made a complete turn-around this week!!  She is calling me mom or mommy several times a day.  A few days ago, I tucked little notes away in the girls' rooms that said, "I love you Mia/Kennedy.  Love, Mom."  Kennedy found hers today and came up to me with the cutest little grin as she handed me a note that said, "I love you too, Mom.  Love Kennedy."  Then, she hugged me on her own again!  There have been several spontaneous hugs from her in the recent days!!  YIPPEE!!!!!

I also showed her how to feed the dogs and dust and vacuum her room this week.  She does both willingly and well.  Mia decided she wanted to dust too.  I told them that I am considering a chore chart/schedule for them that MAY allow them to earn a SMALL allowance.  I am not a huge believer in paying my kids to do the things they just SHOULD do as members of a family.  However, I NEVER received allowance as a kid...even though I had plenty of chores.  All of my friends did less and got an allowance.  It always bothered me.  I think I am more willing to give them a LITTLE something because of that.  Silly, I know.  But it will also teach them a work ethic and make the connection that money is earned...not typically just given.  It has not been worked out yet.  I CAN say that having less cleaning to do myself and getting back a little time to maybe sit down once in a while just might be worth 5 or 10 bucks each here and there.

I have an upcoming staff development day when the kids are off for Presidents' Day.  I have had a BIG struggle finding anyone who will watch the girls for me.  Most people will not keep kids over the age of 12.  My family all works, and/or expects me to pay them to hang out on my couch with family all day... (NOT you, Mom!  I know you just can not get the day off, and would do it for free if you could!)

Anyway, I finally found someone who is willing.  It is not free, but she is not family, so it is OK.  Kennedy said SHE would watch Mia.  I explained to her that while she IS old enough to babysit, she does not know enough English yet.  She needs to be able to call 911 in the event of an emergency, etc.  I told her as soon as she is speaking more English, I will have her watch Mia for me.  She got really excited!  Then I told her that I would also have friends who would PAY her to babysit for them once she is speaking English.  She was shocked and amazed!!!  I think we found a new motivation for lighting a fire under the language learning!!

Kennedy has a new found fascination...SCIENCE.  In particular...the solar system.  She had NEVER been taught anything about that in China somehow.  She is CRAZY for it!  She is soaking it up like a sponge!  I gave Charles a telescope several years ago for Christmas.  He dusted it off and set it up for her Friday night.  She was literally jumping up and down and squealing in excitement!  She said she wants to be an astronaut or scientist now!  Go Kennedy!

Anyway, long story short, Kennedy must have just needed to be TOLD how we feel and what we expect from her...thanks to the advice of Angie Kennedy!  It has made a world of difference, and I feel closer to her each day.

Today, I took her shopping for earrings.  It was well beyond the time that she could finally take out the original earrings from getting her ears pierced in December!  She had so much fun picking them out!  She thought she was picking one pair, and I kept saying she could choose more.  She was smiling from ear to ear, but stopped at 3 pair.  She had some trouble taking out the piercing pair.  She is not good with ANY pain, and it hurt a little.  BUT, she loved putting new earrings in.  The only thing she HAD to have was a pair of cross earrings.  She searched hard to find a pair at Kohl's, but finally did.  She also chose some silver stars and some fairly big silver hoops...super cute!

We are doing the work, and bonding more every day!  Keep up the prayers! 

Random Pics

Here is Mia at the Jump Rope for Heart event at school last week.  She was laughing hysterically, as usual!  She was so cute when she came home and announced, "I didn't jump so great, but I raised money for kids with sick hearts!" 
Yes, my sweet girl!!  You did!
I heard that Kennedy was quite the jump rope queen!  She was able to avoid the camera, though!  Typical!

Mrs. Montagne snapped a picture of me with Mia and her 100 Collection on the 100th day of school!  She was quite proud of her representation of 100 using 10 groups of 10!  Go, you math whiz! 

 (If you click on the picture to enlarge it, you will see that a few fuzzy pom-poms managed to fall off during the 1ooth day parade, leaving a drippy-glue trail!  We fixed it later!)

I did not post pictures with  2 recent blog entries, so these are "make-ups"!  ;)

OUCH!

Charles took the girls with him this afternoon to the church so he could give blood and plasma.  He is O positive, and in high demand.  Kennedy REALLY wanted to watch all that blood get drained from someone OTHER than herself!  (You may recall they took 9 vials from her in December...)  So, she begged Mia to come along too.

He just finished donating, and I guess the girls celebrated for him with the double splits!  OUCH!

A good day...

Sorry, no time for pics.

When you adopt a teenager from another country with another culture and another language, well...it's not always the easiest thing to adjust to.

I will say, after reading the blogs of some other families who have chosen this same path, Kennedy is easy.  Really.  She is sweet, talented, helpful, polite, respectful and intelligent.  I am aware that we are blessed.

But, what she is NOT...is affectionate, emotional...or used to addressing people by name...especially when the names are Mom and Dad.  THAT, my friends, has been the MOST difficult obstacle for me, personally.  It does not seem to bother Charles as much, but me...well...it has taken a toll.

I have given her a couple months to settle in and just get adjusted to being a member of a family.  I mean, her ENTIRE life has changed!  I respect that it must be difficult for her, to say the least.  She has left behind all she has ever known.  BUT, my dear friends, MY life is no picnic either!

We had a pretty "easy" life before we adopted again.  Mia has been our daughter for over 4 years, and since she was only 2 at the time of adoption, she is truly an American kid.  We had a great routine going.  Mia is and always has been a mama's girl, extremely affectionate and loving!  Adding a hormonal teenage daughter to the mix...shocker...was NOT easy!  SO I have finally embraced just how hard it has been for ME, and just how many changes I am ALSO dealing with every day.

I hit the breaking point last weekend, and let Kennedy know it.  I directly addressed some things with her that were really bothering me, and I told her it was time for her to change those things. She admitted to them and agreed.

One of the big things is the fact that she PRETENDED not to know much English.  But, boy, oh boy...can she speak it well while playing Wii!!! Hmm...

Long story short, I took the translator away from her and told her she has NO choice but to use her words and start speaking English in ALL settings, not just while playing video games.  You would be amazed at how much more English is pouring out of her.

I also addressed food issues.  Noodles for breakfast every day are no longer being served. The face she makes when she is trying something new that makes it appear as if she is being killed by the food is no longer tolerated.  I can happily say that she has eaten everything I have put in front of her since that little talk...and WITHOUT the faces!  ;)

Finally, I told her that it made me sad that she rarely calls us mom and dad.  That seemed to strike a chord, and she has made a good effort to increase that.

So, today was a really good day.  She smiled and laughed alot.  We actually wrestled and played around while I was teaching her how to change her sheets the way I want it done.  She did homework with Charles tonight instead if me.  When I asked if she was finished, she insisted on going back over the homework vocabulary cards with me to show me how quickly (and correctly) she could say them.  I told her she did a great job and I was proud of her.  Without prompting, she said thank you mommy.  I smiled, and SHE hugged ME first.

I know our blog is usually a place for the fun stories.  We truly do have mostly fun stories to tell!  We have been blessed by two amazing daughters who did not grow in my tummy...but grew in my heart.  BUT, sometimes, people need to know the struggles too.  Adopting a teenager from another culture is simply NOT an easy thing to do.  It is worth the work, but it IS work.  It is easy to love someone right away, but it takes work to FEEL close to them, especially when they are not affectionate.  It can take time for them to call you mom or dad, but while you are waiting, it can hurt.  You travel half way around the world and jump through rings of fire to bring them home to be your daughter or son, and when you don't hear that endearing term "mom" or "dad", well...it can be painful.

I am learning that she needs to know how we feel, and it helps her want to change.  It is a process.  We will continue to do the work, and it will get easier with every day that passes.  It is well worth it.

I hope you will continue to follow our journey, struggles and all, and that you will continue to pray for us as we adjust, bond and grow together as a family.

A trip to the E.R.

Nope.  No pics.  Just a little update.  We went out for dinner tonight because I had a late meeting after school.  (Any excuse not to cook...)

I was waiting in the lobby for Charles with the girls when Mia decided it would be a groovy idea to stand up on a bench.  If you know Mia, you can already guess what happened.  Just as I was telling her strernly to get down, she managed to free-fall off the bench directly on her head without breaking her fall at all.

Mia is super tough.  She gets hurt pretty often.  She broke her ankle in the same spot twice last year, and never cried a tear.  Tonight when she hit the ground, she grabbed her head and did the dreaded silent scream, followed by uncontrollable crying.  She was complaining of pain and dizziness, and AGREED to go to the ER...WITHOUT eating first.  Ummm...not like my girl.

Anyway, we have to watch her through the night and in the morning for signs of a concussion.  If she vomits or gets disoriented, we have to bring her straight back for a CAT scan.  Let's ALL pray that is NOT necessary!

Never a dull moment around here.  I long for a dull moment...

She's a pro, now!

Look at my baby go!!  Charles took Mia out for some more non-training wheel bike riding, and she just took off!  She certainly has the hang of it now, and can even get herself started, which she needed help for last weekend!  Go Mia!!!

"Snow" Day

...OK, so not REALLY.  It was an ice day, though.  That meant NO SCHOOL!!  On a FRIDAY!!!   Can I get a WOO HOO for THAT??!!  Some parents dread those days, but this mom is a teacher...so I LIVE for them!!  Slept 'til 8:00, oh yes we did!!!  Since I am usually up by 5ish on school days, it was a treat!!  It was Charles' birthday, and he could not get to work.  Poor baby sat at the kitchen table ALL DAY and worked from home.  Bummer.

Mia and Kennedy pretended to throw imaginary snowballs at eachother and giggled like crazy girls.  They had fun checking out the ice "fossils" of leaves from the bushes.  They WERE really bummed that the snow did not come, but liked a day to goof off!  But then again, who doesn't?!