What do 12 year olds like to do??? Well...now I know, since I actually have one! Yes, you read that correctly! Anyway...see the photos above for some of Kennedy's favorite recent activities!
As we approach our first full year together, Kennedy has started to share more and more information about her life in China. I think that she finally truly understands that family is forever, and this is a permanent thing. She also understands MOST English, and speaks the language pretty well.
As a result, she recently told us that her Chinese name and birthdate were not accurate. (We had a feeling the age was off by at least one year...) A few days later, she shared many more details, including the fact that she was given a new name and a birthdate that was 2 years older than her age when she arrived at the orphanage. GULP! This information was delivered during dinner...at a restaurant...in public...
I was pretty proud of how calm I remained as the blood drained from my face and hands. I excused myself from the table and freaked out where she would not see me. I returned to the table where I assured her that she could tell us ANYTHING, and we would still love her the same. She waited a few more days, then gave us the full story. She was visibly relieved.
She has been a totally different kid since then! She is relaxed, playful and at peace. She looked at me in the middle of a shoe store last weekend and said, "Mom, since I told you the truth, I feel so much better!" I can not imagine how hard it has been for her to keep her identity hidden for so long. There is an unspoken tension that has disappeared from our home and we have made huge strides in the bonding process in a short period of time.
Kennedy and Mia have been getting along better than ever as well. They jump-rope, play with sidewalk chalk, and do other "kid stuff" that Kennedy has been pretending not to be interested in...though we could see that she was. Bless her heart, she has been in 9th grade for the last 9 weeks. HIGH SCHOOL. A 12 year old!!! Double GULP!
We had a meeting at the school yesterday and decided as a team (Charles, myself, the principal, counselor and ESL teacher) that Kennedy will move to 7th grade on Monday. We are all relieved. This will also give us back 2 precious years with her and give her more time to develop physically, emotionally, socially and academically before she actually does get to high school.
When we go through the readoption process (...not required, but we did it with Mia and will do the same with Kennedy...) she has asked that we remove her inaccurate Chinese name that we had retained as a second middle name. We asked if she wanted her actual Chinese name added, and she does not. We will ask again when the time comes, but will certainly remove the inaccurate name. As far as the birthdate...that is not as simple. We will at least move it to June from March. However, adjusting it 2 years earlier can cause problems later when paperwork does not match. We are working through that as we go. The most important thing is that we are placing her in the appropriate school setting for her true age and that we celebrate the birthday she knows to be true. That is our focus for now.
I may not post often, but when I do...I go BIG, huh?!!!!
2 comments:
Wow....will send a personal email
Oh gosh Annie! That's so sad! What a terrible burden for her to carry. I pray that she is able to put it behind her. I pray for strength for you. Here's to new beginnings and a smooth road ahead. Hugs!!
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